This feeling has been eating at me for so long. How can I escape something that had been so apart of my life for so long. How can someone I once counted as a sister turn and act as if we never knew each other. I have friends, it’s not a question. I have friends who have not turned away from me, no matter how great the distance. I can’t ignore this feeling anymore. I don’t want to. But I don’t know what to do. They seem so happy without me. Obviously they are. The wedding I was supposed to be the maid of honor at, I will never be a guest. The friend I was thought to have forever is gone. I should be ok. Maybe it hurts to know that I no longer have the privilege of being your friend. It never mattered how often you ignored me, only that I couldn’t make a trip because of reasons far out of my control.
I needed you. My father is ill and I need you. Things happen in my life and I need to talk to the one person who’s supposed to know me better than I know myself. And let’s be honest…I know you better than you know yourself. I always have. That’s what made us friends in the first place. Best friends? No…I guess not.



